fuckyouimjosh:

ohdangdanii:

aduhm:

i just got uterine cancer

my jam

I stared into the abyss
And the abyss stared back

dorkstrider:

high school friends are basically people who agree to survive together and it’s sort of like they’re your crew in a zombie apocalypse and after the apocalypse is over somehow you go on to living life and maybe occasionally you’d run into each other and be like “oh yes i see you still haven’t been eaten by zombies that is good” but you no longer have the need to survive together so that thing tying you to these people is just gone

z-u-u-l:

nosdrinker:

who is honestly still offended by a middle finger that’s like the most lukewarm expression of rebellion there is

Gotta upgrade to pulling your genitals out and peeing on shoes.

dashb0arcl:

how am I expected to make real life decisions when I still go up the stairs on all fours

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

yzma:

yeah childbirth is bad but have u knelt on a piece of lego

weekendinmyroom:

CAN’T BREATH

professortennant:

why isn’t there a “listen i’m about to marathon this entire series in one day so you can stop playing the theme song and recapping for me” button on netflix and hulu

beyoncebeytwice:

im grateful to anyone that still wants to be my friend after getting to know me

icorly:

shipping is $19.99 but you can handle me for free

h0odrich:

twinkxmonsoon:

this video changed my life

She genuinely confused the everything out of me, I don’t know what the original question was or what her explanation meant or where my house is, who am I

davidstrider:

thumbcramps:

i can explain

thats how i got it too